Positivity- 2

Last week, I wrote about measuring Positivity. This week I share some updates on how my positivity fared, and the results of the technique I was trying out.

Last week, after about ten days of measurement and analysis; I found that even on my best days, my positivity ratio never surpassed 3 on the scale. It seemed like the negative events were dragging my ratio down keeping it lower than 3.

Note: The related study puts forth the range of 3-11 as the ideal positivity ratio. Loosely translated, it is the ratio of positives and negatives of life. 3-11 ensures that you have sufficient gladness and optimism to counter negatives and move forward brimming with confidence and cheer without being delusional or blind to realities.

Reiterating, I felt the negatives were swaying my positives. I wondered if my ‘frame of mind during recall’ could have any influence on this test. It seemed logical but I wanted to test it for sure. This test is to be taken at roughly the same time everyday which for me is in my harried, strained mornings. Hence, I felt my negative and glum mindset might be influencing my recall. Accordingly, this whole week, I made sure to read delightful articles and inspiring notes for a couple of minutes before taking the test.

I am happy to note that the resetting of my frame of mind helped me to recall more happy moments of the day, essentially all the ‘wins’. Consequently, my positivity factors have boosted quite significantly. A snapshot is shown below:

PositivityRatio

This little test led me to thinking about doubling my ‘Sugar Jar’, ‘Gratitude Journaling’ and other activities. But details on those are for another post.

Until then, have a great weekend ahead! Stay positive, stay healthy, stay happy!

 

Criticism- Flurry of Thoughts

Today’s post is a response to the Daily Prompt : Criticize

These are my thoughts in no order of importance, just the sequence in which they occurred to me!

  • My inner voice is my biggest critic.
  • Most of my girl friends and female cousins also suffer from having horrid inner voices. These can range from mildly unkind to debilitatingly harsh voices! Sad, but true!
  • Motherhood has made me sensitive and more prone to worrying. Hence, I can ‘sense’; sometimes incorrectly, criticism in feedback or advice!
  • I try not to be critical after becoming a mom! Since, I have realized that what works for one family might not for another. Let’s face it, Hubs and I don’t see eye to eye on loads of topics when it comes to parenting.
  • Related Confession: I do judge people who insist that Hubs or I follow their parenting techniques. Do you know if it suits my kid or our family ideologies and values? Is it necessary? Will it work? How do you know we have not tried it? I mean sharing your strategies is great, I shall keep it in mind but insisting we follow it is silly!
  • While social media is a boon and the various technologies to connect are simply splendid; it also comes with a flip side. That anyone and everyone now has a chance to criticize others. The same platforms that make it simple for me to stay in touch with my geographically separated family and friends also inflict criticism from random people I don’t know and who don’t know me either! Thankfully, I am not famous; so, I don’t have many trolls in my (virtual) life. Plus, I know how to use the ‘Block’ options. But it still feels unfair and upsetting. Throw in points 1-3 and it can make a woman really miserable.
  • Whenever I think of criticism, I always remember my mom’s advise on my homework. I need to critique a literary piece of work for my English class. I do not recall the title of the poem, just that it was a very sombre poem. Hence, I had put an overly critical and mostly negative assessment. [because i liked happy texts; still do!] My mom looked it over and asked me how I would feel if it had been my poem.

I changed it. Sure, I included the flaws but used the Sandwich technique to insert them between the merits. And that changed the tone of my essay entirely. I aced the homework but more importantly I learnt a life lesson- how to deliver ‘a critique’ : with careful choice of words and empathy. (Like my mom did with my essay)

  • Talking about great ideas, I recently read about the technique of ‘feedforward‘ on Marshall Goldsmith’s blog! What a fabulous idea! I am definitely choosing this strategy for advising, critiquing or giving feedback!

On that note, please leave your comments and suggestions for improving this blog and my writing. Feedforward please!

Day 1: I write because…

I write because…

  • I like writing.
  • I am opinionated and talkative. And I write like I speak- which is a lot! A blog is a great outlet for all those thoughts and opinions.
  • Writing makes me talk less. And that makes me a better listener. The significant word being better- way better than before.
  • Writing helps me sort my thoughts.
  • I can be as inconsiderate as I like- my blog, my rules, what I say goes. In a world of civility and conforming to societal norms and being nice (I am ToddlerT’s role model after all); it’s goood to have my own space where I can be a bear when and for as long as I want.
  • Writing is therapeutic.
  • I can try out different forms of writing.
  • The blogging community is so vast, I get to read the works of other bloggers. Some make me laugh, some make me think, some sentimental, some superior (we all need it at our low points) and some make me aware of my own unpleasant traits (like the judgmental bit – am working on it).
  • I like giving a channel to that nagging little voice at the back of mind- that is both the devil and my most trusty cheerleader. It’s nice to give it a space of her own than to be plagued by a constant double guessing. My inner voice is as chatty as my own! Sigh!
  • A place to share, to be seen and heard. Who doesn’t want a place to reign?
  • I love the feeling of exhilaration when I see a published post, when I receive likes, when fellow bloggers comment on my blog or reply to my own comment on theirs.
  • WordPress has a really good Stats page that fuels my achiever streak.
  • I always wanted to have a pen pal. Blogging is that and so much more!
  • It has improved my typing speed as well. Bonus!
  • Blogging is fun.